Video #1: Why I’ve Gone the Indie Author Route

Transcript (paraphrased):

Hi, everyone! This is young adult author, Mary Gray, and I’m here to tell you why I’ve chosen to go the indie author route. And when I say indie, I mean an independent author—one who hires cover artists and editors instead of doing what I’ve done in the past—that is, working with a literary agent to sign with an established publisher.

In this video, I’ll:

-Share a little about my publishing past

-Talk about the biggest myth regarding traditional publishing that I discovered this past year

-How the needful push for diversity has affected me

-Share a few teasers regarding what I’m doing next

My Past Experience in Publishing

So, many of you know me as the author of THE DOLLHOUSE ASYLUM, my one and only book. This book was sold by my first literary agent and released in 2013 by SHP. In short, my work with SH was miraculous. I gained invaluable skills while working with an editor, and had the opportunity of signing ARCs at BEA in NY. Unfortunately, a few book bloggers decided to tear apart my book, saying things like it was the worst book they’ve ever read. I’ve had lots of positive comments too but those negative comments which hovered around my protagonist got under my skin. I left social media completely, deciding to focus on my next book.

After a few false starts, I discovered my next passion. Instead of telling a story about a girl who’s in love with the villain and trying to escape an abusive relationship, I sort of went gaga over historical fiction, more specifically the French Revolution bc I’ve always had this sick fascination with the guillotine.

Took years to research this. More years cranking out and editing drafts. Then, in 2016, I signed with a wonderful new literary agent (old one quit shortly after signing TDA). Super excited abt agent—passionate about my book, industry savvy, strong work ethic, communicative. Edited together, subbed my book for a year, and received helpful feedback for more revisions, including more subplots which I worked hard on.

In December, though, my new awesome literary agent decided to quit. I couldn’t blame her. Learning the cold hard truth about the publishing industry.

Biggest myth in traditional publishing

Just because you have an agent doesn’t mean you’ll even hear back from editors of publishing houses. Many of our submissions went unacknowledged. My agent worked for a Christian literary agency, and many editors expressly say they DON’T want Christian messages.

Which leads me to my next section:

How the needful push for diversity  has affected me

So there’s this website, manuscript wishlish, in which agents and editors list what they’re looking for in books. If you search terms like historical, it becomes whittled down. If you add Christian or maybe conservative messages, you get like two. Most editors of NY publishing houses are looking for stories from underrepresented voices. Which we need! But as a female Caucasian, raised in a Christian faith, I have different stories.

I’ve talked a lot with other writers in similar circumstances. And talked with independently published authors who are very happy. Thing is, I wrote Our Sweet Guillotine with the intention of landing a legitimate deal with a large publishing house. It didn’t happen. So I could alter what I was doing or quit.

One friend suggested I read Joanna Penn’s podcasts, which have been invaluable for feeling empowered for this possible new path. I’ve hatched a business plan with a dear friend, but more on that later on.

What I’m doing next

-I’ve hired a line/copy editor

-Hired a cover artist

-Learning a formatting software

-Purchased ISBNs as well as a few other things I’ll soon tell you about!

Ever since I decided to take this plunge, I’ve felt so empowered. I don’t fear the ding of my email, I don’t have to wait for someone else to say I’m good enough, and I have so many ideas for bringing my type of fiction to the world—conservative YA with an edge.

Thank you for watching. Feel free to subscribe to my videos which will be weekly now, and click to sign up for my newsletter and join my street team to be the first ones to learn about my next books.



January Reads

January has been a funny month. I lost a literary agent, but with that same person have been growing a great friendship. I’ve turned in a revision to a good publisher, and am also exploring the indie author route. I’ve been writing and editing manuscripts, and amidst all of this, have been reading some great books. So, I thought I’d share them with those looking for a great read while we’re still in the winter months.

The Red Rising Trilogy by Pierce Brown

My sister, Cammie, suggested I read these books. Admittedly, when I started reading the first one, I didn’t like it. But, it was Christmas break, and I needed something to read, and the setting on Mars was kind of cool. Plus, Cam said Red Rising was a great example for worldbuilding. Boy, she was not wrong. The beginning, for me, was a little much. I’m not a huge sci-fi reader, but I did recently watch that Mars movie with Matt Damon and had a healthy dosage of Star Trek while growing up. So what began as an “I don’t think I can finish this book,” belief, quickly gave way to “OH, MY GOSH THIS BOOK IS AWESOME.” There’s a fair amount of language, so beware of that. But the strategy of the hero? The plot twists? The characters which just leapt from the page? Book one is crazy GAME OF THRONES-ish with jaw-dropping fight scenes, and a logical yet kind protagonist. Books two and three resembled BATTLESTAR GALACTICA with the kind of space warfare that non space geeks can enjoy. I’m easily dis-swayed from finishing a series, but I loved book one so much, I immediately bought books two and three. Loved these books.

An Ember in the Ashes by Sabaa Tahir

This one had great prose, readability, and MASKS. The villains wear these creepy silver masks that meld with their faces, and the kingdom is a beautiful swirl of light and darkness. I loved the dual points of view (especially Elias’) and the espionage. This is YA fantasy at its best. Not wholly unpredictable, but still magical with characters suffering sympathetic conflicts.

Talking As Fast As I Can by Lauren Graham

Adam bought this for me for Christmas. I had no idea that Lauren Graham is such an excellent writer. This book blew my socks off. I smiled the whole way through, and I chuckled a lot. Plus, she gave some much needed writing advice for when all motivation is gone. Graham shares her crazy potpourri of jobs and determination to stick with acting despite her rocky path. Highly, highly recommended for fans of Gilmore Girls and/or writers having a hard time sticking with the job. Her life is a testimony that reading as much as we can in our youth can help open doors in the future (like the role of the witty and verbose Lorelai Gilmore).

The Unwind series by Neal Shusterman

I read the first two books ages ago (LOVED THEM), but didn’t read the third and fourth until now. (Again, thanks, Cam!) Shusterman never ceases to amaze me with his originality, maturity of storytelling, and creepiness without gore. I read book four while trying to manage my own character’s many desires in a manuscript, and Shusterman showed me how to manage it beautifully with his own character, Connor. This series is set in the future when the United States decides feral teenagers should be “unwound” for body parts. This turns into a multi-billion dollar industry, enabling the rich and privileged to live far longer than they should. Such an evil genius, galling idea, yet Shusterman makes it far more believable than you could imagine.

Girl of Nightmares by Kendare Blake

I really enjoyed the first one, Anna Dressed in Blood, but I found myself scanning this one. Anna’s still a great villain/love interest, though, and I loved the overall conflict.

Happy Scoops by Katie Coughran

This was a fun, light read that I got to read an advanced review copy of. If you like hidden identities of sign spinning costumes, this book would be perfect. It’s super clean, and quick. The best part was the witty banter between the two love interests.

Thanks for stopping by! Let me know what you’ve read this month–via Twitter or Facebook.

When Envy Creeps Up

I was eager to dive into my manuscript today, but after peeking at social media, the sticky threads of doubt and envy held my back. It wasn’t anything overpowering, but I could feel the oozing influence of envy, like tar, bubbling a little too quickly inside my head.pageweb_mainimages_980x320112811_visit_tarbubbles

Suddenly I felt incapable of moving forward–even though I’d just finished studying spiritual messages. But I didn’t want to apply my mind to my work the way I knew I should, because I wasn’t a “real” writer. I’d never be good enough…

Luckily, I had a quick fix. The gym isn’t far away, and I remembered how my agent, Vanessa K. Eccles, and also Maggie Stiefvater have urged writers to do something physical when we get stuck. So I jumped on the elliptical and pumped a little iron. I was happy to do it, because it was on the “to-do” list.

While exercising, I listened to the Jars of Clay station on my Pandora app while working out. (I am grateful that I live in a world where I can exercise and choose my own music.) While listening, several gifted musicians reminded me of a little bit of truth I’ve learned several times before, but were buried behind the goop boiling in my head:

  1. Other writers may be successful in ways that I am not, but that is not my path.

2. God has a plan for me. My job is to work hard and communicate with him every day to make sure I’m following that plan.

That’s it! Nothing groundbreaking, nothing we haven’t already heard. But it was a good reminder for a girl who sometimes believes–or becomes petrified–by the insidious seeds of jealousy and doubt. Always, always, the adversary hounds us. Our job is to combat that negativity–with God’s help.

So the next time you or I are noticing someone else’s successes and begin wishing they’re our own, let’s wash those sticky black thoughts down the gutter, because (1) our paths are our own, and (2) God has a plan for us.

While We Wait

I’ve noticed a theme while talking to several friends and family members lately. A theme of desires. Many of us yearn to work on the right path in the right place.

This applies to students or employees, who, week after week slave away to obtain that ideal position within a classroom or company. This applies to the underprivileged, couples who want children, those suffering health setbacks or relationship plateaus, to missionaries. This applies to artists and writers who want more than anything to find the perfect homes for their works and stories. The point is, all of us are striving for that ideal scenario where we get to be THAT person in THAT position, but in the meantime, we wait.

I handle waiting well about 91% 79%  of the time. I keep busy by working out, studying the scriptures, reading, writing, taking care of my family, cleaning my house, cooking, serving in my church–until BOOM!–something upsets my equilibrium, usually for no practical reason, and I go crazy.

That’s when the thoughts come: “I will only be successful if…” “I, more than anyone, deserve this…” “I’ve waited long enough.” “God, are you listening to me?”

Last night I was blessed to listen to a spectacular talk on faith. It was what I needed to keep my chin up and keep swimming. Still, though, I sought more answers at church. “How can I feel stronger?” I wondered. “What else can I learn today?”

That’s when I realized while singing the sacrament hymn that our Savior was waiting for something, and it was not something happy or easy. He was born to die. He knew that dying for us was his mission. Did he decide that everything leading up to that point didn’t matter? Did he run up to the Roman guard a decade earlier when waiting got hard and demand, “Take me now, boys!”

He healed people until the time came. He taught, fed thousands, showed leadership qualities. I wonder if some days he simply wanted to finish what he was born to do, but he knew the end wasn’t the only part that mattered. The jesus-heals-blindmiddle is where he taught us how to treat people, how to give our will to Christ. He fasted and prayed ALL THE TIME, served people, and taught constantly. He didn’t ever get the perfect house, perfect clothes, or perfect mode of transportation. Instead he visited temples, got baptized, washed people’s feet. Cried with people who suffered. Stood up against bullies. He was willing to be unpopular with the current political and religious regime.

So this is my takeaway. We’re all reaching for goals. We all want to meet success, but our Savior, once again, taught us through his masterful example that we can be great while we wait.

For Writers: How To Survive A Holiday

There comes a time, especially during a holiday, when the writer in me wonders, “When is it over?” and “When can I”–erm, dare I say this out loud? Yes? Okay!– “When can I avoid all people, hide in my room, cuddle with my blanket, and continue my writing and reading?”

These questions don’t plague my mind because I don’t like people, or because I have an issue with holidays. My favorite days are simply what others would call “boring”–when I can put my shoulder to the wheel and work away on my projects. It’s why I’ve always loved Mondays.

I’m not alone. I expect many writers can identify with that vicious cycle of “I love you, [friend/relation] but do we have to be together all day?” Many of us love the quiet, seclusion, and peace. So how do we deal with wanting “alone time” to write or read a great book when we’re supposed to be “partying?”

1. Set time and space boundaries. Dad and the kids know that “quiet time” (usually a couple of hours in the afternoon) means Mom gets to go in her room and not interact with the cats, the front door, the phone, anybody. I put my feet up on the ottoman, throw a blanket on my lap, and sit in my soft, leather chair to write or read. The trees blow in the wind outside my window, while I conquer the world and recharge my battery.

2. Be willing to compromise. I’m part of a family (most of us are part of a network of friends or family) who likes to spend time together. This is normal. And the logical part of me knows this is healthy. But it isn’t always easy for me to sit down and play that board game, or sit and listen to my kids talk about their latest invention, experiment, or art project, or participate in said project. But this family, my family is the only family I will have. I love them. They are a part of me. While I may have been cursed blessed to be an introvert, there’s a reason why I’m not the only woman on the planet. Interactions give me purpose and teach me how to love. I wouldn’t want to write if I didn’t have anyone who wanted to read my books, and I wouldn’t be able to read if there weren’t other writers. Doing other activities I’m not all that thrilled about, though sometimes painful, can provide learning opportunities that can inform my writing. My husband loves to play Assassin’s Creed, and I never would have been able to write my current book on submission if I hadn’t watched him play. Even the days I get to write and read as much as I want can be full of frustration about my progress in writing. Looking outside myself by loving and serving others recharges me enough to return to that chair with a real, substantial sense of peace.

3. Share your expertise. This, too, can be hard. We just had friends over and my good friend asked about how I was spending my day while my youngest just started kindergarten. I told her briefly of my writing projects, and while she wasn’t all that interested, I wasn’t all that interested in her craft projects either. We’re friends anyway. I can spread my interests with my children, and now they’re all great readers. My husband bought a board game called Bring Your Own Book just to please me, and playing that game was a great bonding experience. That’s the point of community. Learning from each other and having the courage to share the tidbits we learn whether the listener is interested or not. I’ve talked about the seven-hundred-page biography I’m currently reading, or my unnatural fascination with the guillotine, and quite often find someone who thinks there’s something wrong with me. But to be fair, I’m not all that interested in being a veterinarian, and the minute you say “football,” my eyes roll to the back of my head. But that’s life. We find common or uncommon interests, and share anyway. Because there will be a time when I need to know something about football, or how to give my cat a shot. If I’ve mingled a little, I’ll know who to consult. The internet can only help so much, truthfully.

So next time, dear writers, when you’re bracing yourself for that chaos-filled “fun” holiday, know you’re not the only one one. Just establish a few hard-and-fast rules to get you through–until Monday.

Incorporating Setting – For the Visually Impaired

When I was a teen, at some point my mom turned the kitchen table ninety degrees. When I told her it looked great, she gave me a funny look and said, “I did that a week ago, honey.”

Hi, my name’s Mary and I’m visually impaired (though my eyesight with contacts is 20/20). But how can this be? Mary, you say, writers are supposed to observe everything.

Truth is, I’ve found a trick to help me catch up with everybody. And it came in immensely useful with my manuscript my agent is currently submitting to editors. It’s called… well. I don’t have a fancy name. But it’s a great system. I simply create a document with all things “setting” and I break it down into categories.

My manuscript on submission is set during the French Revolution, for instance, so for that one I created several fun categories. “Insults,” “fashion,” “indoor” and “outdoor setting.” There’s a nice little section on weaponry. And because my main character likes literature and philosophy, I have a fun part with quotes from her favorite French philosophers from the 18th century.

See, I’d heard of people making character profiles and plotting. But setting? I hadn’t heard of tricks for helping writers create setting. When I studied the time period, every time I came up with a great little tidbit, I’d add it to my document. That’s how watching shows like AMC’s Turn or the CW’s Reign or video games like Assassin’s Creed Unity gets to be research. How bringing a little notebook on family vacations changes everything.

Luckily, with my experience editing THE DOLLHOUSE ASYLUM, my editor taught me how to look for the perfect moments to incorporate these newly gleaned settings. When someone’s doing something useless—like nodding or shrugging. When dialogue goes on and on and the reader needs a visual queue. When we’re just entering a scene and need to be grounded before we go on reading. Author David Farland talks about how setting should be incorporated (at least!) on every page, usually much more than that. It takes practice, but it doesn’t take long before one can spot the places where setting falls naturally. It’s where show-don’t-tell fits in; it immerses the reader in the fictional world. And it’s not only fun but necessary.

Jordan Brown, an editor at Harper Collins, once said at an SCBWI conference, “Great novels are authentic. What makes them authentic? Specificity.” And then he supplied us with examples that were bursting with details that popped from the page.

This bit of advice really hit home for me. Sure, I could tell you I had a bad time brushing my teeth this morning, but if I talk about how the lettuce I removed caused my gums to bleed, and then how my molars clattered to the porcelain bowl—you’re automatically more intrigued. Details. Readers want details, and it’s our job as writers to provide them with specificity.

Admittedly, I don’t do a lot of this while drafting. My rough drafts are mere mechanics—who says what, what happens, how we get from point A to point B. But then? I go back and add these details and that’s when the magic happens.

I’m holding out for that moment with my current WIP. Pray for me.

Family Vacay to Research Trip

Writers are hungry for moments to work alone–when the house is silent and free of gymnastics thumping/whining/laughter. As I’ve grown older, though, I’ve learned that it’s possible to make progress on my manuscripts with the children underfoot. (This is truly remarkable for me as I’m so sensitive to sound!) While I may not crank out chapter after chapter, I’m always thinking, planning, and this spring break I believed I could do more. I figured out a mini trip for a much needed family vacation while conducting research. And while this isn’t a Mom Blog, I have a few mom (and dad!) friends who might benefit from an idea or two for balancing child fun/learning with your own artistic endeavors.

Purchase travel journals–not just for yourself, but for your kiddos, also. I bought mine first and it wasn’t until we were on the road that I remembered buying travel journals for my children a few years ago. They were a little young at the time, but they enjoyed jotting down details about rock formations and Four Corners. My eight year old did especially well this time around. She captured each highlight of our trip with bulleted points and an adjoining picture. When my kids were bored, I suggested they pull out their travel journals. When they saw me writing in mine, they weren’t nagging me for paper. And they learned so much more when writing down details about the hike or waterfall, boat ride or caverns.

Pay for the audio tour. I hate spending money (really–I hate it!) but I knew my oldest would thrive on a third-party teaching him all about our sight for one day–the Alamo. There were 32 stops, and he listened to each and every one. My daughter and I listened to most of them, but got a little turned around. When we found Davy Crockett’s wallet and portrait, she said, “I saw his vest in the other room.” So she was paying attention. Listened when I pointed out other artifacts. She’s a quiet girl, but fiercely clung to that experience.

Show them by example how to jot down details. I’m not a natural observer. When I hear people say writers are observant, I squirm. I have to focus, really focus, to notice my surroundings. I’m too obsessed with feelings or daydreaming about who-knows-what. So, toting a notebook and pen is my perfect solution. While sightseeing, I could scribble down the simplest details. Types of plants, artifacts, sounds (squawking? that would be my four-year-old!). And now when I need to remember what a place smells or feels like, I simply look at my notes. It also helps me be more present.

Hit up your significant other as a babysitter. I lucked out. My husband had no issue watching the youngest while the older kids and I toured the Alamo, or all three when my sister and I ran off for our ghost tour. This was key, as we needed this experience for our research. We had a blast listening to San Antonio’s darkest horrors, and analyzing our tour guide’s rather storybook-like character. We took pictures, chatted about story options, and jotted down everything we could remember afterwards.

Share stories as you go. Two of my three children are so up-tight, they could pick a fight with a mushroom (which is baffling to me, since my husband I are pretty even keel). At one point, while tromping across Texas terrain on our way to see a waterfall, they were so at each other’s throats, I wondered how I’d ever get them to be peaceable. I prayed to know how to help them, and it wasn’t until the way back that I tried something that I doubted would work: I told them about how their dad and I met. My husband helped me along, and the kids were glued to every word. He told them how his roommates betted him a Martinelli’s that he wouldn’t be able to kiss me on our second date. (Luckily, I rejected him; and passersby said our story was “scandalous!”) We’d pause, and the kids (even the four-year-old!) would beg, “What happened next?” forgetting to fight the entire way back to the car. (See? The Lord supplies us with answers.) We also played an audio book in the car. The four-year-0ld whined at first, but he eventually got over it and he had his electronics, snacks, and journal. This was a great way to keep arguing at bay as there are five of us in a five-seater car.

Download a plant identifier app. Or any learning app that you’re naturally interested in. I love plants, so whenever we had a spare moment and my kids started to whine about anything–their thirst! the tightness of their underwear!–I’d have them take a picture of a plant and we’d learn the species together. This worked especially well for the older two. It also helped my oldest pass off a scout requirement.

That’s all for now. Many of my friends tell me their children are excellent travelers, so they probably already do this or something better. But, coming from a mom who hates road trips or leaving the house, it was an excellent learning experience. Here’s hoping our trips get better and better!

I Got an Agent and Here’s How

I’ve written a post like this before–I was repped by a lovely agent a few years ago. But, alas, she left agenting to pursue another path. I had the opportunity to work with her colleague, but decided I wanted to finish my next manuscript before approaching agents so I could work with someone who really wanted my work.

It happened. A few days ago.

But, boy, was I slow finishing this manuscript. It’s historical fic set during the French Revolution. Daunting? Oh, yes. The time period is amazing and terrifying and there’s so much to learn. Did you know that executioners were actually gentlemen, often with musical endeavors? Not the creepy robed toothless guys we think about…

So I wrote a story–realized it was the wrong story and started again. Years happened since the release of THE DOLLHOUSE ASYLUM. But I’m a mom and this story took research and I think competition in the writerly world is more competitive than ever before.

I started querying this version last summer. An agent read it and we met at a conference. She pulled me aside and told me what absolutely worked for her and what absolutely didn’t. I listened and applied each and every word.

When I finished editing months later, I queried again. I got compliments here and there, but no one wanted to take the plunge to work with me. It just didn’t *click* for either of us. I participated in #PitMad, got a couple of requests, but it wasn’t until #Pit2Pub that the magic happened. From a few publishers, I got favorites. And then an agent favorited, too. I sent everything off.

It was only a week later that I received an offer of publication from one of those publishers. I sort of thought it was spam–I didn’t believe it at first. But, with a little research knew it was more than legit. I went ahead and notified the remaining agents and publishers. A few bowed out, saying they were happy for me, but didn’t have time to read soon.

I gave everyone a week (which wasn’t long enough). When a week rolled by, I hadn’t heard from two agents and one of the publishers–who asked for a little time. So I extended my deadline. It was only a matter of days that I heard from the agent who favorited my #Pit2Pub tweet–she had a few questions. But it was about other projects. Did she not like my current one? Then she wanted to set up a call to “discuss” and I had absolutely no clue if she liked it or not. I set up the meeting for ASAP, because I ABSOLUTELY HAD TO KNOW and when she called–

–everything *clicked.* More than I thought possible. She told me she loved my story and loved the mix of history, edge, and faith-based message. I thanked her, remembering how I wondered if anyone *would* like it since it’s a different sort of combo.  She assured me it was exactly what she was looking for. She also told me she loved my executioner.


We talked, and it was the first time in my life where I talked to a literary agent (I’ve talked to a few) and KNEW we would be good together.

When she asked if I wanted to work with her,  I said the other agent who had my full hadn’t responded to my emails so, “Let’s do this!” She giggled and said, “Let’s do this,” too.

So, I’ve fasted and prayed and gone to the temple; and fasted and prayed and gone to the temple. And worked, worked, worked. Served, served, served. Research, research, research. I was really tempted to throw in the towel the week before, feeling like everything  was bogging me down. Yet nothing was actually  amiss, I just *felt* like giving up. Do you know that cartoon where the guy’s mining a tunnel and just before the end, gives up?

minecraft logic

I felt like that. But I didn’t stop, didn’t give up, and I remember telling my husband at that time that I felt like the adversary was really going after me because I was close. I am thankful for the scriptures and my Heavenly Father, because he helped me see what was going on. And I am thankful that I’ve found the most AMAZING agent who is this perfect combination of professionalism, fun, and sweetness. I told my sister, “She’s a great listener, and not afraid to interrupt!” That’s what I want–someone to listen and take me to the next level. We’ll do great things together! I know it. We’ll be subbing to publishers soon.

Her name? Vanessa K. Eccles of Golden Wheat Literary. She is my favorite.